SMALL COP ROOMS tw: sexual assault When I look at the detective, I want to tell her that I wish I knew what it was like to do no wrong. I don’t remember a thing besides sick yellow walls and screaming fluorescents that failed to bring and warmth to my skin. She sits…

…my thoughts always turn to love and being loved. It has taken a day and a half or so, but I’ve finally slowed down. The porch of this youth hostel has white columns, church pews, and a brick-tiled floor. It’s 6 pm and it’s the least lonely 6 pm evening…

on a solo trip in New Orleans Reader, it is 72F. I am on the expansive patio at my youth hostel. Every last wood surface has chipped paint. There is a riot of potted plants everywhere, some creeping with moss. Behind me is an outdoor stage, fitted with a piano…

The dessert selection at whole foods should be illegal — I am finishing my lunch at whole foods before walking over to work. It’s a half day, one in which I decided to take the morning for myself. My period is here and more time in bed with my cats seemed appealing. And later, after coffee, more time with my…

Revisiting the impact of harsh words in my 20’s TW: physical + verbal abuse. My friends have pointed out many times that I’m really hard on myself, and it always surprises me. The negative self-talk habit I developed never seemed too loud, more of a constant, t-shirt tag of an…

“I never wanted to be an island” At work, we gathered around several tables strewn with printouts of an upcoming exhibition. We took a pop quiz about the main thesis of the show, using pencils from a cup in the center. I’ve often felt unprepared and childlike for this new…

Waking up alone is nothing new. It’s morning and I’m looking forward to quiet. It’s Halloween and I am partied out. There is a small house party tonight I am considering going to, but only if another friend or two has planned on going. I’m comfortable with my need for…

I don’t read my old writing enough It’s 7:03 am and I am drinking coffee as if it will clear up my cold. I’ll chug some Dayquill and get on with the morning, but for now, it feels good to curl up in my chair and write. I have some…

Surprisingly, there’s more. I am listening to an audiobook on my couch. I have quieted the voice in my head that says this isn’t enough. Listening to “A Court of Thorns and Roses” while I window shop or play The Sims is the right amount of stimulation for me. Just listening…