“Men Who Hate Women”

Just some light vacation reading.

This book is hard to read. Overall, it talks about how violent incels and misogynists aren’t just some sub-group of people who are on the fringes of society, but very much out and about and vocal. It talks about the attacks on women, but how the media usually leave out their incel ties.

I think about the man in Waukesha who drove his van into the holiday parade, killing some and injuring many others.

Police say just three weeks ago, in Milwaukee County, Brooks ran over a woman he has a child with.

I’m not saying this man was on incel forums, but there has been so many connections between violent misogyny and acts of violence.

Misogyny and yte supremacy sometimes feels inescapable. I wonder if others think about these things as often as I do. When the news broke, my group hushed it, but I ended up searching it out anyway.

“We didn’t think it was table talk.”

I don’t want to be a part of a world like that. Where tragedy isn’t polite table talk, a learning moment for the younger people on this trip with us. Again, I’m grateful for an all-expenses paid vacation, but departing from parts of myself for a warm pool and free alcohol isn’t really a worthy trade.

I have to schedule a rapid covid test for the morning after I get back. I’m looking forward to finding something queer to do that morning, and cleaning my apartment more. I want to strategize my open communication. Maybe find two spots a week on my calendar, one weekday and one weekend hang, and attempt to find a friendship hang for that day. Asking and hearing if someone if busy or not is a skill I really want to develop furthur.

I’ve started saving money for my move, denying myself some of the treats I’ve been wanting. More so saving those for the weight loss goals I’ve set for myself. I did fast track one of them in the form of lingerie. I needed a pick me up and I have one, very sad set from Amazon. God.

Weight loss is a touchy subject for me. Especially now that I’ve actually seen progress. I don’t believe anyone needs to lose weight to be attractive nor healthy, but it is what I want for myself. I’ve not always taken a healthy approach to it, but the healthier things, like listening to my body more, taking to second to think of I’m hungry or if I just want to chew something. Usually it’s the latter. Maybe dousing my mouth with Valentina to get the urge to eat even though I’m satisfied out of my head is messed up, but at least food isn’t just a passive comfort anymore.

I have lots of muscle, and eat a pretty varied diet, but my doctor still brought up my BMI. It takes me to a dark place, one where I try not to think about how good it feels to have nothing in my stomach. Hair loss, bad skin, and baaaad breath are no joke.

Having learned so much about Alzheimer’s, I feel confident in my ability to stay aware of when I’m getting bad. I need food for my brain’s health, even if it’s just a little.

This isn’t the sexiest entry, but I feel almost devoid of desire. Family bickering will do that.

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A lesbian who writes.

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Rainn

Rainn

A lesbian who writes.

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