from where though?
I need a break.
From what, I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s anxiety or the fact that it’s been cloudy, or maybe it’s just my brain asking, “You good, bitch?”
I archived my poetry Instagram last night because lately, I feel like everything I write is so uninspired. I’d open it up and feel this sense of dread as if I had to write something and something GOOD every day.
Sometimes all I have is a quick thought or a sentence. But even those have been lacking lately.
If I’m being honest, I felt too seen. So of course I’m writing a blog about it instead. Typing has always felt better than writing in a journal. My hands can’t keep up with my thoughts and my writing gets all wonky. This means that when I want to go back and read what I wrote, it’s often illegible. My brain won’t slow down.
I want everyone to read my writing, but I also don’t. I want my words to strike a chord, but to not be taken personally. I want to express a feeling in writing as easily as they ebb and flow, and letting it just be that.
With less inspiration and a feeling as if I was just playing at being a writer, I gave myself a much-needed break.
This break has also made me question what this space even is. I keep saying I’m going to download it all and delete everything, but every time I get close I can’t bring myself to. I come back to, “Maybe someone else will read it and feel a bit less alone.” But I think it’s mostly, “Maybe someone will read it and see how human I am.”
Adieu.
